i love my co-workers

quote by my nifty lady co-worker "'cause its not gonna work until justin rolls his trunk in."

awesome.

dink punches for all. dink punches for some?

in the bathroom at work are 3 stalls. now each stalls presents a whole host of pros and cons. this makes stall selection quite crucial - also, a little thinking on you r feet is required. the first stall has a lock, that works, is always stocked with toilet paper. however, this is a widely used stall as it is the only one with all of the aforementioned items. because it is so widely used, you often encounter a giant log of poo that has not been properly flushed down and is now clogging it. damnit ladies, poop at home or in a baggie under your desk like i do. hee hee, i hide the baggies around the office, in random desks. next is the middle stall. this does not have a working lock. i used to hold the door closed with my head and try and pee - worked quite well. then i figured out if you jammed a piece of toilet paper in there it'll stay closed. this stall also has the newest toilet. also, its the cleanest as the broken lock scares most urinators away. the extra paper usage is wasteful. so i generally try not to take this stall. but the cleanliness seduces me sometimes..... oh, this stall has the shortest flush handle. this means you have to use you r hand to flush it. eww. who does that in a public bathroom? not me. i use my foot. but its awkward to try and jam my shoed foot in the little space between the lid and the handle. but its clean, so kinda worth it. this brings us to the last stall. its the handi stall, so wide enough for even our giant assed pee-ers. you can put your bag down, stretch out or practice your ballet kicks. its what i do anyway. this stall is very well used and therefore not clean. also, this stall requires the most commitment as you can't just flush it quick. you have to hold the handle for a few seconds. i like to count to 5 or think of something funny i did that day. and since i hold the handle down with my foot, this requires somewhat of a balancing act. but thats ok - lots of room to flail around, it's meant for fatties and 'tards.
if you ever wonder why the ladies take so long in the bathroom, it's not because we take 10 minutes to pee, or that we gab with our lady friends or admire ourselves in the mirror, you know, think how great you are, compliment yourself, maybe tell yourself a funny little story - its because we evaluate every aspect of the pee devices and the surroundings. oh, and by everyone, i mean me. 'cause who the hell else is crazy enough to do that overtime they have to pee. just me. and thats alright with me. also, eff you.

dear facebook

for whatever reason, you have deemed my name, Kylee Sabados as offensive. this is actually my real name. I would like my facebook account to reflect my real name. Kyky Pajami is not a real name. in fact, in spanish, it means horse's anus. so i would appreciate you un-banning my real name of Kylee Sabados. seriously, its real. Its on my birth certificate and driver's license. and its what i generally answer to on a daily basis. thank you for your time.

facebook blows. (left that part out of the email. but i feel that this is an accurate statement as to how i feel about facebook and it blow-inducing ability)

can i get a w00t! w00t!

heh. quote from my boss. "i didn't mind it so much, but after sucking on it for about 10 minutes, it left this really gross taste in my mouth."