charming is not a new synonym for crap

so i would like to write a giant FUCK YOU to all the slum lords out there who have recently wasted my time. over the past few weeks, me and my boyf have gone to look at countless houses and apartments in the mt. pleasant area. and guess what, they have all been pieces of shit. do landlords think that people are so desperate to live in that area that they're willing put up with holes in the wall, disgusting, old moldy carpet and rat feces? cause i'm not. the best ones we've seen had bedrooms the size of closets. and not big walk-in type dealies either - i'm talking about small, often window-less dungeon-y closets. and i'm not that picky. i'm not above living in places just past the squalor line. really, my friends who were unfortunate to come visit me can attest to that. i've lived in old, in dank, in small, in flea infested and also in moldy, mushroom growing carpeted crapholes. one apartment i affectionately called, 'the slanty shanty', cause the floor sloped. in a big way. there was also a special needs guy above me that when i first moved in, thought he was in horrible pain. then i discovered he just like masturbating. a lot. yeah. so really, i have lived the gambit. all i'm asking for now is a decent - note i didn't use the word spectacular or amazing or awesome or canflabulistic - main floor that is in no way infested with anything. this includes, fleas, rats, dog excrement, cat pea, homeless jerks and used needles. i'd even take an apartment. and yes, same rules apply - no crap. i pity the next assface landlord that wastes my time. oh wait. no i don't. cause they deserve any onslaught i dole out on account of being lying bastard, effing sons of bitches.