tsk tsk

Recently I posted an entry making fun of sam sullivan and his non-working legs. I received a bit flack over it. Mostly from my boyfriend. I have now deemed kev a cripple lover and am breaking up with him. Publicly. For all of my 2 readers to laugh at. I just don’t think I can trust a cripplelover. Maybe he has a cripple fetish? Am I gonna come home one day and a wheelchair will be waiting beside the bed, him posing sexily beside it attempting to entice me into the chair? Or worse, will I come home from work unexpectedly and find him in a –gasp!- ménage a chair? Or will cell ring one day – while I’m out teaching blind children how to speak, and it’ll be the ER saying I need to come get my boyfriend cause his weiner’s been in a horribly spoke accident and they had to amputate. And I’d say, “not his wiener!” and the doctor would try and not laugh, but we’d both know what she was thinking – that I must be a huge pervert too. A sick, wheelchair lovin’ pervert. For shame Kevin. For besmirching my good name.

who wants a muffin?

So I’ve decided that mayor sam sullivan is leg-ist, in that he hates people with the full use of their legs. This is why he doesn’t give a flying crap about the strike – it effects the pools and fitness centres. And he can’t use these facilities. Well he could. But I’d bet he’d drown. Wheelchairs are heavy. And it’s kinda cheating to wheel beside someone who is running. I mean, jeez, wheels vs. legs – who’s gonna win? Now I will say that the garbage dealie effects both the legged and unlegged equally. I take that back – it doesn’t. I bet if you couldn’t use your legs, you’d hire someone to take out your trash. Or the gov’t appoints you a trash taker outer or some shit like that. So really, even tho legless dude is in a wheelchair, he is quite possibly the smartest guy ever. Also, I just found out he invents things. Maybe he’s trying to invent bionic legs wherein the knees have lasers in them. Cause I’ve been wanting a pair of laser knees for a quite a few years now. And if that cripple invents them first and reaps all that profit… well, let’s just say that I will steal the plans, and dump him out of his chair. And then dance around him. And stretch my legs right in front of him. And do knee bends n shit. Yeah. That’ll show him.