where da baby jebus at?

to the purple puffy coated assface cutting her nails on the bus: no one wants to walk on your gross nail leavings and possibly track them home. were you raised in a barn? or with a traveling pack of hobos? if i sat beside would you have gone all primate and checked my hair for ticks? people need to learn and start applying basic rules of etiquette. here's a handy list of dos and don't
1. don't cut your damn nail on the bus - already stated, but worth mentioning again
2. don't take your shoes off in public unless you're at the beach
3. if your shoes are off, do not pick at your feet
4. cover your mouth/nose when you cough/sneeze etc.
5. for the love of all things holy and otherwise, keep your muther effing finger out of your gd nose.
and finally,
6. don't fart in public. no one wants the particles inside your colon, in their lungs. seriously.

eff that muther-effer

dog owners are fucked up. maybe i should clarify - pet owners are fucked up. after my last post i decided to use the 'Next blog' feature and see what everyone else was doing. and after searching past a couple of sex blogs - these people did seriously not need to be naked ever. cause damn - tummy rolls, and muffins tops and tiny wangs, oh my. but anyway, i came across a blog from the UK. told in the voice of an airdale terrier 'mojo'. now this either the smartest fucking dog ever, or some retarded human has nothing better to do than to write a blog in the voice of their fucking dog. don't get me wrong, i love dogs, i have a dog - she's fantastic. but unless it was for a bit or for irony purposes, i would not ever write a blog for her. dogs are not children substitutes - they are companions, pets. they do not need clothes - magically, they are all born with clothes - its called fur, fucktards - nature's sweater. oh, and yoda costumes are totally exempt.

ps. if you hate horses, check out this blog http://horsehater.blogspot.com/
and if you wanna check out one of the lamest pet blogs i've come across so far, http://mojoairedale.blogspot.com/

cuppa soup, bitch

my last company thought paychecks were optional. so i got used to paying for things with my credit card. and cringing every time my statement popped up online. i think i even cried once when i saw what i owed. lousy body - needing to food to survive. and clothes to stay warm and unviolated in public. so i was a little weary starting my new job, where they promised to pay me. i even asked specifically "do you guys get paid here?" and they all answered yes. and even tho i didn't really know any of them at the time, i chose to believe. and how could i not? their earnest faces, eyes wide and glistening, nodding, reassuring that my hard work would result in what everyone ultimately looks for in a job, a paycheck. so yesterday was payday. i eagerly logged into my bank account to see if the magic fairy brought me cash. i squirmed with excitement, thinking about how much money would be there - this would be my first full paycheck here. but to my disappointment, and sadly i wasn't surprised - there was no money. i asked around, seeing if anyone else got paid - i was glared and struck. ok - people said they didn't know, that they didn't check. apparently when you get paid all the time, you don't really worry about when the money is coming - it'll get there when it gets there. so i sat at my desk cried. ok, no - that would be pathetic. but i was kind of wondering if i had signed on to another atimi-esque company. today, i came to work, put down my stuff, lunch in the fridge, and sat at my computer. should i check my bank account? i wasn't sure if i could handle another day of no money. so i waited. and waited. i lasted a whole 2 hrs, then i logged into my account. apprehensively, i looked at my bank balance. i swear i heard holy music and angels dancing around - the sun even shone through the shitty vancouver rain clouds and onto my balance. it was there; i had been paid - the magic fairy had visited me during the night. and instead of leaving a giant pile of credit card interest - like that bitch normally does - she left me a giant pile o' monetary happiness. the moral of this story is that money is everything. and if you're not getting paid, it means you work at atimi and therefore suck goat ass. except for kev.