first post of the year bitches.

So everyone likes to point out how cute my dog is. And while that’s true, no one thinks of the work it took to get her that cute looking. And I don’t mean that I take her to the spa and get her fur done and nails buffed or shit like that. I’m talking about the amount of punching and berating it took to get her cute. When we first picked her up, her head was a different shape. I punched it into the adorably cute shape it is now. Her legs were quite a bit shorter as well. But I kept punching those until they were longer and more pleasing to my eye. Her fur? At first kind of straight and only one color. But I kept on punching until it was slightly curly and had some highlights. You see, a dog is an investment. They take work and effing amount of physical exhaustion to get them into the wonderfully trained and adorably shaped mass of fur they end up as. So you remember that the next time you see an impossibly cute dog shuffling toward you. If you look at their owners hand and see bruised knuckles or cuts, you know they’re trying to make the world a cuter place for us all. Heroes, really, is what we should call ourselves. No exaggeration.