it's medium not a grande you dumb mothereffer

so i tried to watch casino royale last night. what a giant piece of crap. after 30 minutes i'd had enough and went on to better and funner things. so, uh, sleeping. it lacked a certain something for me. say, dialog. maybe they spent too much money on the special effects and forgot to budget for actual words. and daniel craig is not very, uh, bond-like. which is too say, attractive in any way. at least the other 007's had a certain type of appeal, you know, a sexy appeal. daniel is just kinda lumpy. weathered. he should be playing the part of the Fisherman, in boating movies. you know, the wise and grizzled sea captain, who always has something clever or profound to say and in the end gets eaten. as he's being pulled down into the depths of the ocean, his last words, "metallica rules..." can just barely be heard above the roar of the ocean, which is his mistress as well. so i guess i see him as an old ocean humper. spreading his seed amongst the algae and uh, manatees. and then there's a huge custody battle over the half grizzled sea captain and half slimy manatee kids. its get all very dramatic. oh, and he gets eaten by a liger shark. which is really the best shark of all. part tiger, part lion and all shark. man, i would pay 10's of cents to watch that. it sounds like a effingly good movie. i bet its already being made. i seem to catch on to things mid-stream, if you will. and this morning i am esp. tired. so jebus himself could come up to me on the street and i'd just say, "no dude, i don't have any change" except that he'd be offering me the golden fleece or a picnic basket full of orgasms. so then he'd just give it to some hobo that stumbled by. eff. i always miss out on the good stuff.