don't make me punch you in the irish

while i disagree with tom selleck's gun toting yay policy, i thoroughly agree with his porno mustache wearing policy. that man is the epitome of all the 80's had to offer. crime fighting, helicopters, tiny white shorts, a pudgy, sad sack of a side kick and of course, the mustache. so bushy and full of life. its shone on the t.v, like a beacon of truth and justice, giving comfort and reassurance to all. i think he should have his own festival - selleck 'fest. free with your admission ticket, you'd get a fake mustache to wear and of course, a pair of those fantastic white shorts. maybe there'd be booths and lectures and workshops to learn about all things magnum. helicopter flying simulations, a gun range and of course, mustache combing lessons. cause what's the use of having a luxurious, bushy vagina magnet on your face if there's food stuck in it and its all knotted and gnarled. and man, you gotta get the right mustache conditioner. you want that bad boy to be silky and manageable, not greasy and limp. UPDATE: it has been suggested that the name of selleck-athon should be selleck-con or sell-con for short. in my opinion, this infers that the extravaganza would be held inside some lame-o convention centre. wrong. it needs to be in an open field, where the mighty wind blows your mighty mustache and bees buzz by. flowers dot the sides the trail leading the visitors to grounds of awesomeness. eff. i really want to go to selleck fest '07. stupid imaginary festivals. taunting me with their illicit mustache ways and promising not one, but several types of fantasticalism.